Archive for the ‘Positive Birth Stories’ Category

Cesarean Courage

Here is a link to another Doula’s blog that I read this morning. I do not know her, but I enjoyed reading her post. There is not enough recognition for just how brave cesarean mamas are. Joelene and I seen a handful of mamas give birth by cesarean, and Joelene has done it herself twice. And I must say, every time I find myself waiting in the waiting room while a client and her husband is in the OR, I am shocked at how strong they are. A lot of the time they expend every bit of energy I think they have just to get to the point when they find out they will give birth by cesarean, and then they accept the news unselfishly, cause they are willing to do anything to get their baby out safely. And then after their birth, they must process it all. Sometimes it takes years. To all you beautiful, brave mamas out there that gave birth by cesarean, you are amazing!

Here is the link to the post that got me thinking about all of this: Cesarean Courage

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Mini Birth Documentary

Hello New Life Friends-

Here is a cool video of a woman that had a doula assisted birth in a hospital setting. She narrates her story, explaining things like what contractions feels like and common emotions/feeling laboring mamas experience. It’s a great video for first time mamas that want more of an idea of what labor is like. Enjoy!

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Play-by-Play VBAC Birth Story

Below is Katie’s birth story. She resides in Austin and has two children. Katie gave birth to her son vaginally, after the cesarean birth of her daughter. Thank you Katie for sharing your beautiful story.

Tuesday, April 21st – Sabrina announces to her class that she’s going to have a baby brother on the 24th.  Is she clairvoyant?  Perhaps.  

Thursday, April 22nd – 38 week midwife appointment with LeeAn, 3.5 cm dilated, 70% effaced

Friday, April 23rd – JT and I go on a lovely date to Flemings in the domain.  I hadn’t walked my normal 2.5 mile route that day because we went to Sweetberry Farms with friends.  JT did tell me I was tempting fate by driving an hour out of town but you know, I figured we weren’t going to be early so, I wasn’t worried about delivering early. Sabrina was spending the night with Grandma so we could enjoy a leisurely date and a nice morning that didn’t start before seven.  Oh, the irony.   We had a lovely dinner and told the waitress we weren’t in a hurry so we ordered one course at a time.   We were still home by nine and I was in bed by nine-thirty.  And no, we didn’t have sex … much too uncomfortable for that. 

Saturday, April 24th – 12 days before my due date. 

3:50A – I woke up feeling a gush of fluid.  I assumed it was my water breaking.  I went to the bathroom and discovered it wasn’t my bag of waters, but bright red blood.  There wasn’t a large amount of blood or any clotting but my underwear was soaked.  I put on a light-day pad, shouted out to JT (who woke up about two minutes before I did and was in the other bathroom) and told him we needed to call the doctor’s office.  Man, were we unprepared.  JT had the number in his phone but for some reason, decided to google the number instead. I walked out and saw him on the computer and just called myself.  Within two minutes, the midwife Lisa called back and asked several questions — how much blood, what color, had it stopped, was the baby still moving, etc.  She said we could stay at home for 15 minutes and monitor the bleeding but since we were attempting a VBAC, she’d like us to come in so that she could check things out for herself.   And ag ain, I felt so unprepared!  We packed last weekend after we did laundry — but I hadn’t even made my list of things to take other than clothes.  The list of things we forgot is long — snacks, our music, warm clothes for JT, I forgot a brush, toothpaste, and we forgot to turn off all the lights in the house when we left.   And, since it was four am, I didn’t eat anything!

5:00A – we arrive at the hospital and since we hadn’t taken the tour yet (I swear, it was on my list of things to do) we didn’t know where to go.  

5:10A – checked into triage, hooked up to monitors — baby looked strong, healthy and heart rate was consistent.   They did all the insurance paperwork, asked the usual pre-check-in questions.  They weren’t admitting me yet … just monitoring me.  I was having minor contractions about every three or four minutes but they were just a tightening and not anything I couldn’t talk through.  Lisa came in to check on our status — felt my cervix (4 cm, 80% effaced) and her glove was covered in blood.  She was not concerned that my uterus was rupturing as the baby would have been showing signs of distress.  She decided to give me a bag of fluids to see if perhaps my uterus was irritated/dehydrated.   Lisa called the OB (remember, the OB had to be involved in all decision making due to the VBAC) and they decided to just keep monitoring me.  They said they would let me go home if my bleeding stopped.  Unfortunately they couldn’t say what was causing the bleeding.  It could have been a ruptured blood vessel, or an irritated cervix or other scary things.  

6:00A – after two stick attempts, the fluid was hooked up.  Contractions remained consistent, baby remained strong and healthy (HR in the 130’s and didn’t dip at all during contractions).  These were still easy contractions — the kinds that weren’t doing anything to my cervix. 

7:00A – I had to pee … and when I wiped, it was covered in blood and when I looked, the toilet was filled with bright red blood.  I called the nurse who called Lisa who called the OB.  They decided I needed to be admitted — just too much risk.  At 7, there was a shift change.  — new nurse, new midwife (LeAnn, who happens to be my favorite)!!  She’s been fabulous at all of our prenatal appointments — said I was due an easy birth since our first was so difficult. 

7:00A-9:00A – moved to L&D room number 5 (a lovely room and quite huge).  Hooked back up to monitors — everything looked fine.  Contractions were less consistent.  JT and I snuggled together on the bed and contractions disappeared.  I started to get concerned — bleeding, no active contractions and then the midwife came in. 

9:00A – LeeAn started talking options .  If there wasn’t anymore bleeding, we could potentially go home (but I couldn’t bleed for four hours).  Or, we could stay and she could insert a foley to expand my cervix more, do a small dose of pitocin or break my bag of waters.  We decided to just wait and see what my body was doing.  I sent up a prayer and hoped we’d get an answer as to what my body was doing.  

9:45A – I went to pee and there was a gush of blood with one small clot.  I called the nurse who called LeeAn and she came back into the room and her opinion was that we needed to break my bag of waters.  JT and I were snuggling on the bed and I started to cry.  I started to fear the worst — that it was going to turn into a labor I’d already experienced — no active contractions, broken water and then a c-section.   LeeAnn was so positive and so wonderful — never mentioned C-section — said their practice does not put time limits on water breaking and that as long as the baby and I were both healthy, they’d keep trying to get labor to start.  She was just wonderful and said she’d leave so that we could process what was about to happen.  I had a minor breakdown but just decided that it must be the plan for us.   I washed my face and took it out of my hands and tried to remain faithful to a higher plan.  We were on the telemetry monitors and so we walked a bit and just talked. 

11:53A – LeeAn broke my water.  I was 4.5 cm and 100% effaced when she broke my water.  She was so positive that the bleeding was from my cervix and that my body was ready to labor.  The procedure itself wasn’t that comf ortable because I had to lay on my back.  But, once my water was broken, it was a warm gush of clear fluid.  If it had been bloody, they would have been concerned that the bleeding was from the placenta or my uterus.  

12:00P – JT and I start to walk.  We did one lap and I had three fairly strong contractions during that walk.  Strong enough that I had to stop and concentrate. 

12:05P-1:00P – Back in the room, sitting on the birth ball (which JT bought on Friday).  I leaned back on JT who was sitting on the couch and he had held on to my thighs or back during contractions.  LeAnn was in the room the entire time and talked to me during the contractions — soft voice with positive reinforcement.   The contractions were quite strong — lasting a full minute and occurring every three minutes.  Each contraction I would drop my head, sink into the ball and talk to the baby about opening up my cervix.  It sounds corny, but I swear, it worked.  I reminded JT that, on average, it takes the body about one hour to dilate one centimeter so we had a few hours to go. 

1:00P-1:30P –  The OB and midwife were both in the room with us and were both fabulous.  The midwife kept using soft positive tones.   The birth ball was no longer comfortable and I struggled to find a good laboring position.   I tried sitting on the bed  which was horrible.  Then I tried sitting on one foot while the other dangled off the bed and that wasn’t much better but it worked for a few minutes.  JT sat behind me and I asked him to count for me.  The counting helped because once we got to 30, I knew the pain was going to start decreasing and I was going to get a break.   The best part about laboring without the aide of drugs is that I got a break where I could stretch, think about the process,   etc.  At this point, my breaks started getting shorter and shorter — maybe 30-45 seconds.   We changed positions to standing and leaning with forearms on the bed.  I started shaking a bit, feeling stomach cramps and no position felt comfortable at all.  

1:30P – The OB suggests getting into the shower.  She knew that the shower helped during Sabrina’s labor and thought it might be a good time to try the shower and get under the warmth of the water.  JT helped me get my slippers and clothes off (I wasn’t wearing a hospital gown).  It took a few minutes as contractions were coming quickly and I had to stop undressing to focus.  It was very very very very hard to focus but JT was amazing and kept me going.  

1:35P – The OB suggests to JT that he go to the car to get music so that in between the contractions we would have relaxing music in the background.  We forgot our player but JT had his laptop, so he ran to the car to get it while me and the OB worked our way to the shower.   As it turns out, we forgot the classic al CD anyway, so, running to get the laptop was pointless.  He was gone less than five minutes. 

1:40P – In the shower … warm water felt okay but it certainly didn’t melt away the contractions.  The OB wanted me to sit on the birth chair but I wanted to throw it out the window.  It wasn’t comfortable at all and it was too hard for me to concentrate on that chair.  She held the water on my lower back and lower abdomen but it wasn’t helping.  I decided standing was a  better option and then I had the urge to push so — I pushed.  JT is back in the room and the OB said something along the lines of,  “James … I don’t want the baby to come out on the shower floor so I need your help.”   JT actually thought she was kidding since he was only gone five minutes. 

1:50P – I’m naked and back in bed.  The OB hits the call button and gets the nurses in the room.  She checks me and I’m at 10cm and  ready to go.   Before I know it, JT is on one side of the bed, Cyndi (our nurse) is on the other side and we’re pushing.  The pushing was intense — I couldn’t use low tones to concentrate — it was a flat out high-pitched scream.  The interesting thing was, for the first two rounds of pushes, I got a good two minute break in between each one.  I’d lay my head back, relax and even smile.  Our birth photographer arrived just at that point — I remember smiling at her and then it got so intense there were no more smiles … not until our baby came out!  They put the mirror in front of me so I could see everything going on (which really was motivational).  The OB needed me to slow down the pushing because it was so fast and furious that if we kept going at the same rapid rate of speed, I’d likely tear from head to toe.  She also had me push when I was supposed to be on a break so that she could control how long/fast/intensity of the push.  She was a perfect OB for me — telling me exactly what to do.  She was positive and loving but in a Nazi-eske kind of way.  I remember shouting that I couldn’t do it.  They were all wonderful and positive and really, there was no choice in the matter.  The burning was intense (I know I’m using that word a lot but there just isn’t a better word for it) but as soon as his head came out it was one of the best feelings in the world.  Of course, we had one more push for the shoulders and wow — we did it!!  JT was so emotional and motivating and just perfect.  Going through something like that together — something so intense just makes me love him even more.  He also watched the entire thing which he says was very motivating for him.    

2:06P – Our baby was born!!  They put our baby on my tummy and I just remained in shock for hours and hours.  JT cuts the umbilical cord and we just stare at him in awe.  I remained in shock that everything worked out so quickly.  I got to snuggle him for about ten minutes before they started their evaluations — apgar testing, weight, etc.  I loved having those ten minutes and really didn’t care what he weighed — I just wanted him near me.  He was 7 pounds, 12 ounces and 20.5 inches long.    He came out so fast that he didn’t have a cone head!  He also had some bruisin g on his face — around his nose and mouth. 

After 2:06P –   I had a small tear on the inside wall that required two sutures.  The thing I wasn’t prepared for was the continued pain — when the nurses would massage my uterus (oooowie) oh, and the lidocain shot was a bit much.  It didn’t take long for the placenta to come out and it felt like the biggest poop I’d ever taken.  Seriously.   The OB said she thought the bleeding may have been from the start of a placental abruption because there was a huge gush of blood while he was born and right afterwards.  The midwife wasn’t sure she agreed and basically said we’d never know the true cause of the bleeding.   She also checked my c-section scar and it was fully intact.   

Around 2:45 – I was still bleeding quite profusely. They’d already hung one  bag of pitocin to encourage my uterus to continue to contract.  Each time they would massage my uterus I’d pass clots and more blood.  After they had me get up to pee, I almost fainted so she checked and I was still bleeding.  I was also whiter than a ghost.  They ordered food for me and I got another bag of pitocin.   The second bag seemed to slow down my bleeding but they kept a pretty good watch on it until Sunday night. 

We still hadn’t settled on a name — we went back and forth between Samuel as a first name vs. a middle name.  Our other first name choices were Tyler and Carter.  Carter is a very special name to me and would honor the son of a very special friend.  Tyler is a Schmid family name.  I plan to call him Ty as a nickname. 

Our girl name was decided long ago — Charlotte Hazel — we never waivered on that one.  Interestingly enough, Sabrina kept calling the baby Charlie although she said it was a boy.  We never talked names in front of her so she’s just a clairvoyant little girl. 

I can’t even describe the emotion of the day.   I feel so thankful that our little boy was born healthy and happy.  I’m also quite thankful for my husband who helped me get the dream birth I always wanted.  I’m thankful for my friends who supported me through this endeavor.   

So — all in all … our labor … 11:53A-2:06P … and a beautiful baby boy was born.

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A Beautiful Birth Story!

Proud mama with her new daughter!Below is an inspiring hospital birth story. This was the mother’s third birth, but first one to go all natural. Enjoy!

I wasn’t timing contractions because it was the 3rd night in a row and the other 2 didn’t turn into anything. At 1am I was still awake and felt a small pop and gush. I knew my water had broken – but just like the first 2 it was an outer layer or a small tear up top because it was just a small trickle of leakage. I knew from the first 2 that it took a little while for my contractions to kick in and get going, so I just went back to bed and started timing. By 3:30 they were consistent and getting closer – about 5 min. apart. I got up to take a shower to see if that would do anything and it did. When I got out they were about 2 min. apart. We called our friend to come stay with the boys and headed to the hospital about 4am.

I got checked in and had noticed anytime I sat down that my contractions slowed so as soon as they had done their monitoring I was up and about. They checked me and I was at a 6-7 so they said it didn’t matter if my water had broken or not, I was in labor. She asked me if I wanted an epidural and I said no, not right now. As soon as my midwife got there, about 5am, I started walking the hallways at her suggestion. She gave me one last chance to have an epidural and I decided to go for it without it. At 6:30 she checked me again and said I was at a 9 1/2, but obviously I was too lucid to be in transition yet. I got up and kept walking until about 8am.

I was becoming really tired so we started to talk strategy. She wanted me to try nipple stimulation but I was shy about how and who and all that so I put her off for another half hour. The nurse finally talked me into it when she mentioned pitocin. She suggested I try a warm blanket over my chest first to see if that would be enough. I had to be on the monitor while trying this to make sure baby was ok so I sat down in the birthing bed. They had it set up kind of like a recliner. I sat down with that warm compress, dim lighting, soft calming music and my contractions slowed enough so that I slept for about 10 minutes.

They came back in and kind of laughed at me – I said I’d give the real thing another try. They walked out of the room again and I did nipple stimulation to stimulate about 3 contractions and that was all that I needed. Rob called the nurse back in and I was like “honey, you called them too quickly”. He laughed at me and said he had only seen the look on my face 3 other times :) I asked to get into a kneeling position so I kneeled on the part where my feet had been, put my head in my hands where my butt had been and within 3 contractions and 1 push, she was out!

I lost a lot of blood and my placenta was being pokey about coming out so they did start a little pitocin afterwards. I was thinking we should’ve just kept up with the nipple stimulation, but there were too many people in the room for me to be comfortable with that. My iron count was low when I left the hospital so I am glad that they helped prevent any more blood loss.

Overall I am elated that I finally got a birth story that I was in charge of and honestly, I’d do it again. There were only the last 6 contractions that I was thinking this really, really hurts and maybe I made the wrong choice. But the freedom of walking around during and almost right afterwards was worth it.

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Beyond Biology: The Holistic Stages of Labor

Whapio Dianne Bartlett

Whapio Dianne Bartlett, Traditional Midwife and Director of The Matrona

Below is a beautiful, poetic article written by Traditional Midwife Whapio Diane Bartlett. She shares what she has learned over many years of observing women give birth. She refers to the woman’s journey into an altered state as the “holistic stages of labor”. A friend shared it with me while I was pregnant with Paloma, my second daughter, and it made me truly look forward to giving birth. Enjoy!

 The Holistic Stages of Labor

 Written by Whapio Diane Bartlett

 

Embarkation

(Pre-labor and Latent Labor)

 

Labor is a Journey. The preparation has often been elaborate, conscious and consuming. There is usually an all-important ritual of Arrangement preceding the actual event. We call it nesting and Mother has moved about in a final flurry of activity, taking care of all last details…clothes are washed, food fills the freezer, house is ship-shape…all is in order.

Nesting is part of Embarkation. Mother senses that labor is soon. Perhaps contractions and the loss of a bit of the cervical mucus has offered a hint that the journey is about to commence.

Then it does begin and Embarkation is also the time when a woman realizes that labor is truly here. Mother is excited, maybe a bit nervous, concerned for the welfare of her loved ones having made sure that they will be well taken care of while she is gone. As the Journey  is launched she may call all her family to her to bid them goodbye or, depending on her custom and constitution, she may silently take leave with her partner and companions. Usually, at this time she alerts her chosen caretaker. If she is birthing at home, she notifies her midwife who may or may not arrive immediately depending on the mother’s preference. If she is planning to give birth in a hospital or birthing center, she may notify her chosen caregivers and remain at home until other changes occur. Often, moms wish to spend time acclimatizing to the sensations the body offers before they actually connect with their birth attendants. Most moms are aware that labor is still in early phases and are excited and managing their energy very well.

During this time the Mother often feels like talking and sharing impressions as she is pulled away from ordinary reality. She may be chatty and relate information about each contraction or each sensation. She usually stays centered as she is stretched and molded; her sensations become stronger, more intense, powerful. Most Moms experience this as varying degrees of pain. The waves of contractions repeat with increasing intensity and frequency and the Mother is swept toward the Unknown.

In modern parlance this time would be considered pre-labor and the latent stage of the First Stage of Labor. Physically, the cervix is beginning to efface and dilate and this stage lasts until the Mother reaches 4 to 5 cm dilation. Contractions are usually 30 to 45 seconds long and 5 to 10 minutes apart. As Mother comes closer to the chasm that separates her from ordinary reality, contractions build in intensity and become coordinated and rhythmic. It becomes apparent that the Mother is being called away – she is less and less present in ordinary reality with each successive contraction. Her chatty persona disappears, replaced with a growing seriousness.

As she feels herself pulled toward the Veil she will probably want to connect with her caregivers. She may feel the need for the presence of the midwife or doctor because she understands that she will be leaving ordinary reality, taking a definitive step into the unknown, and she wants her caregivers to be aware and ready to witness.

Entering the Veil

(First Stage, Active Labor)

 

The Mother reaches a point in her traveling where it is time for her to go alone. The endorphins released by her body during her embarking have begun to change her consciousness and she enters, more deeply, the realm of the altered state. She travels to the edge of her normal reality, parts the Veil and goes beyond. The Veil is my nomenclature for the curtain that separates ordinary reality from the deep altered state. Brain wave patterns have begun to slow down and change from Beta (ordinary reality) to Alpha (the bridge into the subconscious) in the Embarkation phase. Now, in the next stage of labor, brain wave patterns slow down even more and mother has access deep into Theta (the subconscious). The aloneness reflects the fact that women move into a place of self-direction that seems to emanate from a grounded yet altered place in them. The Veil is that stage of labor that heralds the change to this new place. This doesn’t mean that a mother wishes to be alone and that others are not relevant. Rather, it signals the shift into a more self-directed realm.

Mothers may approach the Veil several times before deciding to move through. Circumstances may also prevent the mother from moving through. Constant questioning, especially about mundane affairs, and interruptions in mother’s rhythm serve to bring mother back to ordinary reality.

At the Veil, Mom no longer feels chatty and often the experience of something more serious and profound presents itself. She begins the process of separation and while the mom is aware of details and specifics occurring in the room, she becomes less interested in them.

There is often a palpable smell in the air or a subtle but perceptible color change in the room that marks the presence of the mother at the Veil. Many caregivers can calculate the flow of labor by these signposts, making yoni exams redundant at this point. I have experienced color changes and find this to be very reliable and helpful for me as I witness a mother’s journey.

In conventional terms, the Mother has achieved 4 or 5 cm dilation and the character of the labor changes. Contractions begin to be about 60 seconds long and about 5 minutes apart. Mother may seem to act a bit more spacey and unfocused to caregivers in the beta mindset.

 

Between the Worlds

(First Stage, Active Labor)

 

During this time the Mother craves privacy, silence, warmth and the intimacy of the dark. She looks to her Guardian to know that she is safe and that no one will breach the sacredness of her travels by distracting her or leveling any expectations on her. But most importantly, she looks to her Partner to see if he* is with her. She reaches for him to bring him into the vortex and together they speak a silent language as the sensations between them become more powerful and intense. No one may disturb them; they are Between the Worlds. They become tuned to rhythm of this process and perhaps to the spirit and soul of their child. They may have visions, see colors, hear the voice of their child. Whatever their experience, it is unique and relevant to them as partners, parents and family.

This place Between the Worlds is the trance-like altered state where the opportunity exists to access the mystical state of transformation. Profound realizations may occur; new truths may become evident. Non ordinary reality may bring forth new information and new perspectives that forever alter the consciousness of the individual and the family. Mother is no longer in Beta, way past Alpha and moving through the deepest states of consciousness…Theta and Delta (beyond the subconscious to unconscious). It is important not to interfere with the birthing couple and it is seldom necessary.

Mother stays upright, moving with her labor, moving with her contractions. They become longer and stronger – from 60 seconds to 75 seconds, almost to 90 seconds. At this time her dilation moves from 5 cm to 8 or 9 cm. Labor is considered hard now and often painful…at the least, strong and intense. Mother has coping strategies. She is not lost. She has what it takes to find her way. She doesn’t usually need words…simple reassurance in the form of present companions who give her privacy and offer safety, although sometimes quiet murmurings of respect and affirmation may afford the mom an understanding that you are there if needed. Sometimes humming or soft singing, from another room, may  provide the mom with any needed reassurance. Mother may wish touch, eye contact, the healing powers of water…or none of the above. I’ve learned to make no assumptions. Now, I follow the mother and the journey. Again, the Art of Midwifery is inherent in being able to provide for the needs of any women, whether she wishes company or aloneness, eye contact or someone in the next room. The Art is being able to individualize your presence to the preferences of each woman. I often take a position in the corner, quietly witnessing, though not observing or intruding on the birthing couple‘s privacy. After all, what could possibly be wrong if the caregiver is knitting in the corner.

Mother climbs higher as she plunges deeper.

The Summoning

(End of First Stage — Transition)

 

Mother becomes aware that she is nearing the peak. She is deep in a vortex, past anything she has ever known.. She has been continuously opening to wisdom, opening to revelation and now she comes face to face with the apex of her labor. This is what she has come for – accessing the new spirit, the new person that is her child and her Partner’s child, and bringing this soul to Earth. She hears the Summons, she summons her child and together they make their way back. This is often the most precarious part of the journey. Mother must summon all her reserves and she may want to know that her Partner is totally present and supportive. She assumes her caregiver is following their course and holding everything steady on the other side of the storm. Mother is braver and more courageous than ever before in her life.

Transition is considered the most intense time for Mother. Contractions are long and hard – 90 seconds plus and coming 3 or 4 minutes apart. She is reaching toward 100% dilation or 10 cm. This is as open as a woman can be. Of course things may seem hectic and often the Mother flounders briefly during this supreme openness. She may say that she cannot go on or that she wants to go home. She may have a wild-eyed look and seek the presence of others. She may ask for help but I have noticed this is not the authentic need for someone to do something, rather it is the calling out to be witnessed in this hardest phase yet. Sometimes the presence of another person, especially one she loves and trusts, will restore calmness. And sometimes, the presence of another will allow her to feel safe and she will then rage to the end of the universe. Her personal tempest may take her far from ordinary reality. She will become the storm, become wild and incredibly powerful. Caregivers and partners may be amazed, even intimidated. Mother will find her way however it takes.

It’s important to note that birth does not look any particular way. Some moms are calm, some are wild. Some labors are fraught with pain, some are totally bearable, some are even orgasmic. I am not suggesting that any style of birth is better or more conscious than another. What I am saying is that when the mom is in her authentic power, no matter how that may appear, her birth is normal, natural and perfect for her. I am also saying that when a mom is imprinted by cultural or caregiver mores or prevented from accessing her instinctual wisdom, her experience of birth may be unbearable, agonizing, out of control, humiliating and shameful.

At this time, a woman often needs to find her own way. She needs to hear the Summons in her own language and on her own terms. When she does, the journey toward home can be initiated. Any distraction at this time can be confusing and dangerous but I have witnessed women be flexible and powerful and rise above danger and distraction with astounding regularity. During this time of openness, women find their way, find themselves, find their power and their will and commune with forces greater than they have ever experienced.

Again, the art is to witness yet not to disturb the process.

The Quiescence

(The Resting Phase)

 

This is the period of great stillness and peace that occurs after transition. All becomes calm and quiet and the Mother knows that IT has happened. She knows she has found what she is looking for…her still place in the tempest and access to the soul of her baby. Both mother and baby are tranquil and serene, drifting toward the shores of home. She may choose to rest in the arms of her Partner or create a still place to recoup her energy. She is not finished with her travels – she must manage the breakers ahead  – but right now she is in peace.

This is one of the most important parts of labor.

For many years there was no acknowledgment of this stage of labor in our culture. Once a Mother achieves complete dilation she is usually encouraged to begin to push out her baby. But in the holistic paradigm, this stage, which usually lasts about 20 to 30 minutes (but can be as short as 5 minutes or can last hours), is Mother’s time to regroup and collect her energies for delivery. Labor seems to stop; contractions literally stop or slow down and the Mother may fall asleep or fall into a quiet, meditative trance. Everyone waits in the hush until contractions resume.

What happens during the Quiescence is more than resting or regrouping. When you have climbed the highest mountain and finally reached the Summit what do you do…run right back down the other side. Of course not. Would you simply rest up for the journey down. Of course not. You may open your eyes and look! You would see what you have come this far to envision. You would possibly have a sacred and holy moment, set apart from all other moments in your life. You may receive.

This may be the pinnacle of the altered state. Brainwaves may shift to Delta, the slowest and deepest of our known patterns, which allows us access to the realms of the unconscious…the realms of profound knowing, meditative understanding and peak experiences. This is the realm of transformation.

In this case, mother receives understanding and knowing pertinent to this new human being that she is birthing. She receives wisdom that is easily accessible at this great altitude and in this momentous altered state. We lament that we are not accorded the blueprint with which to raise our children but that is not entirely true. There can be a veritable download of information about her child…the blueprint. This is a key part of the journey and mothers wish to be respected and afforded solitude to experience this phase of labor.

This stage is different for each woman and for each labor but in a labor where the Mother is not required to perform to any expectations or has any strong programming about exactly how labor should unfold, I have noticed that this interval lasts about 20 to 30 minutes. At the end of this period, contractions begin and the Mom is often startled into wakefulness. She is now ready to head down the mountain, carrying precious information. She is heading to shore on the incoming tide.

 

The Tides

(First Stage of Second Stage)

 

Mother puts her feet on the ground again. However, the resumption of contractions does not mean the mother is planning or ready to push out her baby at this time. During the time of the Birthing Tides the mother is alive with wonder and she is aware that her body is bringing her baby down the birth canal. She feels the sensations of baby moving, she feels a quickening and an alertness that allows her to shuttle back and forth through unconscious, subconscious and ordinary reality. She knows something is different, she knows birth is imminent but she’s not in a hurry. She is coming down the mountain with a steady step…revitalized, reflecting, remembering what she has seen.

Her contractions may become strong and intense and her uterus is doing something very different than when she was ascending to the top. Her cervix is completely open and her contractions begin moving the baby through the birth canal and closer to her perineum. She may have small urges to push with each contraction but more often than not she will just let the contractions sweep the baby down without pushing with them. She may feel the intimation of pressure and pushing but the momentous urge to fiercely bear down is usually not present yet. In her wisdom she understands that she does not need to push hard at this time. Rather she needs to wait until her baby is there. Mother is focused, receptive, alive and alert. She is still Between the Worlds, but she is a new woman. Alive and active, mother says to all – “Stand back. I’m about to have a baby.” She finds her own position, her own rhythm. Her eyes are trained on the shore; she is coming back, bearing a great gift.

The time of the Birthing Tides generally feels good to women. No matter how tiring or exhausting her journey, the Mother experiences a second wind, a new spurt of energy and excitement. The birth now becomes more of an active event – the receptive state of Between the Worlds gives way to the active state of the Birthing Tides. Most Moms are galvanized into a place of intense power. Sensations are considered strong and powerful rather than painful. A Mother who is alert, erect and under her own authority will instinctively know what to do. She will find the appropriate place, position and rhythm for the work she is doing. She will absolutely know how to birth her baby.

Mothers generally tend to vocalize during labor. In the early parts – Embarkation – the Mom is often chatty and responsive to the environment. As labor progresses and Mom reaches the Veil (active labor – 5cm) she becomes quiet and responds to her own inner environment. Her vocalization may change to sighing, humming, ohming or ahhhing. As she moves Between the Worlds these sounds escalate in their depth (not pitch) and in their intensity. The Mother may begin to sway and moan and give herself completely to the primordial quality of this powerful experience. During the Summoning she may call out loudly to the Universe, to her partner or to the soul of her child – usually remaining deep and grounded but occasionally reaching out to share the intensity of this journey with her companions. Sometimes the Mom may ask for reassurance during this time, sometimes she goes even deeper into her own realms. During Quiescence a hush prevails. Then as the Mother begins to navigate the Breakers her sounds change. Louder and deeper still, the sounds that emanate from the birthing Mother are the sounds of opening; a channel is being cleared and everything moves out of the way.

 It is also relevant to note that some women go from their Quiescence directly into the next stage, The Breakers. In some births I have noticed that women, usually moms having their second or third+ children, wake from the Quiescence already with the baby on the perineum and ready to begin pushing.

The Breakers

(Second stage of Second stage — Pushing)

 

At this point the baby’s head reaches the perineum. It can be felt by the mother, it may be visible to her partner if her position makes that available. Mother knows her baby is right there. The sensation of the baby on the perineum will bring on pushing contractions from the mother if necessary. Usually mothers seem to be at one with the power of the waves and push with them but I have witnessed a few women who never actively push during their labors. The uterus does everything. Mothers articulate with these birthing contractions and the birthing song that began in early labor crescendos into magnificent aria. The mother’s voice may actually guide the baby to the end of the tunnel. These universal sounds may spur the baby on through his or her journey and create the natural excitement and tension that comes with reaching a goal. At this point, close to Crowning, the Mother experiences a rush of adrenaline. With the speed of light she is in two worlds. Her oxytocin birth trance is still palpable and she is cognizant of her earthly reality. She is back and is ready to bring her baby to dry land.

I have noticed that almost all women engage the same position for birth. Women who are left alone and not told what to do…universally and naturally seem to do this…

KNEEL on one knee.

During their time Between the Worlds, most women are upright and flowing with labor. Many women sway with contractions and will lean forward during the majority of the contraction. This is natural wisdom. In labor, the uterus moves upward and forward and women naturally move with the uterus, facilitating the process. Some women will even hold their uterus up and forward with contractions…never having been guided or encouraged to do this. During Quiescence, women seem to relax. They may float in the tub or sit back. They may even lie down on the side. When contractions resume full-on during the time of the Birthing Tides, women are usually upright again…walking, swaying, leaning. As this time becomes more intense and melds into the actual Breakers a woman instinctively knows her baby is near and will begin to hunch down and get closer to the floor.  Finally, when the breakers are in full swing, women invariably bring down one knee and take a kneeling position with one knee on the floor, the other bent. A mother will never drop her baby out on the ground. She will crouch on the floor, one knee down, one bent and facilitate the birth of her child. Her partner usually crouches in front and above her, like the Archangel, protecting and witnessing, claiming his family. The caregiver is nearby…waiting to be called closer if needed. Most mothers birth their babies solo. Babies generally don’t come barreling out of the uterus when the mother is present and instinctually engaged in her birth, so no one needs to catch. Mother’s hands know what to do…as always…and assistance is seldom needed. Baby comes through mother’s hands and she places her baby gently on the birth mat prepared for the baby on the floor.

A note about other positions…

Women will sometimes go from a kneeling position during the Breakers to a hands and knees position. This is popular position because the laboring mom can get the weight of the baby off her back and has her arms to support her as she leans over. A mother will only do this if a caregiver or partner is facilitating the actual delivery because a mom instinctively knows that her baby is now behind her and she cannot receive her baby herself. Often moms confide after the birth that the hands and knees position made sense in the moment but that they were sorry to have missed the birth of their child. Someone else ended up catching the baby and many moms I have known will not choose this position again.

Women seem to dislike a supported squat. They are totally dependent on someone else to hold them up during birth, usually the partner, and then the partner does not easily see his child born. Also it often puts the mom in an awkward state…needing to depend on someone to hold them during birth when they instinctively understand that this is not really necessary. I realize that supported squat is a caregivers position for a mom rather than a position that she would naturally choose. Also, in a supported squat, I have seen women have difficulty arching their back for the fetal ejection reflex that Michel Odent speaks about.

Semi-sitting, the most culturally popular position for childbirth, is the most difficult position in which to birth a baby. It’s a matter of sacred geometry. When a women is sitting on her coccyx, which is exactly where she is sitting when leaning back, she is occluding the birth canal. In labor, the coccyx will naturally roll out of the way so the baby can fit through. When mom is sitting on it, great force may be required to move the baby over the coccyx. That translates as hard and heavy managed pushing with the legs to the ears and often a lot of yelling and coaching. Even though it is psychologically preferred to lying on the back or in stirrups I have never seen a mother choose this position, or need to. Actually, from the physiological stance, lying on the back is an easier position for labor because the coccyx can move out of the way with less effort than when the mom is sitting on it. Moms do not like lying on their backs in labor because intuitively they know it’s not natural and it creates more work for the uterus which moves forward and upward.

Women opting for a water birth may sometimes remain in the semi-sitting position. This works in water because as the baby is borning, mother can easily raise herself up and let the coccyx move and the baby come to crowning.

Lying on the left side is chosen by moms who are wanting to be in their beds or are confined to bed for some reason. It seems to work very smoothly as it equalizes pressure on mom’s bottom but women report that there’s something very awkward about needing to have your leg held up during your birth.

What I learned from birthing women is that they will instinctively find the position that works best for their labor….usually the kneeling position. Whatever position a woman chooses…semi-sitting or hands and knees or kneeling…it is the natural position in the moment. There is no one correct position for birth. It is as individual as each woman and each labor. My experiences have been that women most often choose a kneeling position when not culturally imprinted.

The distinction between the two stages of Second Stage of Labor:

In clinical practice, we have acknowledged only one aspect of second stage. In this holistic model we notice that mothers don’t usually push until the head is on the perineum and we have delineated two stages of labor. The first stage of second stage, The Tides, occurs after transition and includes the time between full dilation and the arrival of the head on the perineum. This stage encompasses the time that the uterus naturally brings the baby through the birth canal.  The other stage, The Breakers, characterizes the time when the baby is visible and the mother has a compelling and involuntary urge to push. Sometimes she will feel her uterus pushing gently during the Birthing Tides. She does not push with it…it’s not necessary. In fact, encouraging or managing a mom to push during this time before the head is on the perineum may cause undue damage to her vaginal tissues, pop capillaries and disorient the mom who instinctively knows her baby will come down with privacy, time and the ability to find the appropriate position. During The Breakers she will use her own effort with that of the uterus to birth her baby. I have been taught by women that it is not necessary tell a mother to begin pushing or to guide or manage a mother in pushing. This overrides her instincts and unless something is terribly wrong, her instincts will always be her best guide. Pushing before the head is visible… known as managed pushing…is a dubious achievement at best. It can be humiliating to position a woman on her back or bring her legs up to her ears and exhort her to push her baby down and out. It is instinctively incorrect, it seems overbearing and generally, from my experience, unnecessary.

(Certain variations, such as moms with babies in a posterior position, often do need assistance with pain relief and with pushing techniques…more on that later.)

Emergence

(Birth)

 

At the time of Crowning the largest part of the baby’s head has now passed through the Birth Gate. Mother is often ecstatic and totally energized.

She may cry out as if to announce her return. An adrenalin response occurs in the mother and she rises up slightly from her kneeling position and arches her back. This has been called the fetal ejection reflex by Michel Odent and this rising up allows her to facilitate crowning and the baby moving through the last part of the birth canal. This adrenalin surge, that co-exists with the flow of oxytocin, is responsible for the alertness of the mother and baby during this time. A mom may feel somewhat overwhelmed as she transports from one dimension to another but she is never at a loss for what to do. She simply births her baby. As she kneels to birth, her partner may be facing her, ready to catch his child. Perhaps another pair of hands, those of the midwife or caregiver, are ready to assist, and then again, perhaps not. Assistance is normally not necessary. Mother is not out of control, birth is not chaotic, there is no hysteria or confusion. Birth is accessible and a woman does what is natural.

It is an absolute fact that a woman does not particularly need anyone to catch her baby. She may desire another pair of hands in her field or she may desire someone to catch her child but women do not particularly NEED anyone to catch their babies. The myth that someone must check for the cord or perform head traction to free the baby is simply not true. Cords seem to resolve themselves…in fact one third of all babies I have seen born have had the cord around the neck and generally nothing was needed to be done. Head traction or assisting the baby is usually not necessary either and may, in fact, cause a problem or delay.

 

The Return

(Immediate Postpartum)

 

Baby slides into a new world. A transformation has occurred. Both mother and child experience a period of re-integration and re-organization. This stage may take about 5 to 10 minutes and is similar to the Quiescence in it’s calmness and quietude. Mother and baby are stabilizing – reorganizing molecular structure – and neither may do anything that is visibly apparent for a few moments. Baby is changing from fetal circulation to neonatal circulation, initiating respirations, smelling the environment, feeling air for the first time, listening, seeing, and experiencing his or her first impressions of this planet. Mother is seeing this planet through new eyes. She will usually sit quietly for a few moments allowing herself to return. She then reaches out to touch her baby. Usually the partner sits by, watching, with tears of awe.

This is the moment of earthly bonding. Oxytocin, the hormone of love, runs high…higher than at any other time in labor and the family falls into love with each other. Mother recognizes her child, partner claims his family. The bonding occurs first on psychic and spiritual level, then the mother reaches to pick up her baby.

Mothers have taught me that it is not appropriate to interfere with this important stage of birth. This is an incredibly high and holy moment and if we truly understood birth and the ramifications of returning from an altered state…the re-integration…we would protect the privacy of the mother and baby at this time more than any other. I have noticed that mothers are often not ready to hold their babies immediately after delivery. They need a moment, or two, or five. They need to experience their baby in an authentic and instinctive manner. We need not hand a baby to a mother and please, never remove a baby from the mothers field.

 

Acquaintance

 

At this time Mother has picked up her baby and begun to become acquainted. Mother and Father are in awe; in awe of their baby, of each other, of the amazing realms through which they have just traveled. With a sense of wonder and reverence they approach their baby. Initially they may be crying and speechless, still wrapped in the mystical cocoon of the Vortex. This may soon give way to expressions of delight as parents caress and speak to their baby and each other. The period of Return and of Acquaintance are times when distractions should be kept to a minimum in order to respect the initial bonding between parents and baby. Stethoscopes, flashing cameras, suctioning devices, hands and voices other than the mother and father can be disruptive and inappropriate during these vital first few minutes, especially if the parents want the sanctity of the bonding process honored.

As the Acquaintance comes to an end (usually after about ten minutes) and mother and father have explored their new child, the mother may feel the placenta descend and feel that it may be ready to be birthed. If so, she will signal for the bowl and perhaps wish the caregiver to come closer. However most women I have worked with have not desired to birth their placentas until after the next stage.

From the Tao…‘The midwife does her work by doing nothing.’

From close by, without interrupting or being in the mother‘s field, the midwife or caregiver can assess the newborn, assess mom’s placental separation and bleeding, assess and meet the immediate needs of anyone in the room, stabilize the environment and be the silent witness during these first minutes and stages after the birth.

 

Communion

 

This is the point at which the parents choose to share their new baby with others in the room. Children, grandparents, friends, attendants are invited to come closer and greet the newborn. At this invitation, the caregiver may move into the space of the Mother and family. Momma and baby are alert and receptive. Father is processing the experience and claiming his family. Baby may show interest in nursing. Congratulations are offered and a quiet celebration ensues. The Return, Acquaintance and Communion together last about 20 to 30 minutes and comprise the immediate postpartum. While they are short in duration they are very different stages of birth, each with a unique and important experience that impacts the development and well-being of the family.

 

Completion

(Immediate postpartum, Delivery of the Placenta)

 

About 30 minutes after the birth, the mother will often turn her attention to her placenta. At this time, the placenta is out of the uterus and sitting in the yoni. It is easily birthed at this time with very little fuss and concern. The midwife may hold the bowl and assist the mother in positioning herself to release the placenta.

The mother has had her bonding time and has had initial communication with her loved ones and she now settles herself down to nurse and fortify herself with something to eat and drink. The family is stable and safe. Perhaps the midwife has finished that baby hat by now and may offer it to the parents before she withdraws.

Babies tend to be alert for the first hour or so after their birth. Then they generally drift deeply into sleep, having nursed and fallen in love. Mother has birthed her placenta and received nourishment and witnessing from her loved ones. This is now the time, after about an hour, while her baby sleeps, for the caregiver to return to the scene and assist the mother in accessing her body and her bleeding. Mother may wish to shower and assess her bottom, the birthing room is tidied, phone calls are made. Perhaps mother calls for more food and wishes to talk, perhaps she wishes to rest. As this finishing winds down over the next while, mother and partner draw together and prepare to enfold their baby, and each other, in sleep.

The midwife enfolds all as she writes her notes or closes her eyes in silent vigil.

Weaving the Story

(Postpartum)

 

During the next days and weeks the vortex remains open. Mamatoto…motherbaby…are establishing their relationship and rhythm. The altered state is still apparent but beginning to close. How quickly it closes depends on how soon the mother returns to her ordinary reality. During this time, family and caregiver revisit the events of the birth. This is a crucial time of witnessing and articulating the journey to each other. Mother has an opportunity to review her altered state with her companions and formulate her wisdom. Partner is incorporated into the experiences and the parents share their insights.

The Weaving goes on forever. Families and caregivers form a special bond and as time progresses and children grow often the birth wisdom continues to be revealed and understood. Being present with families in the postpartum is as relevant as being present in pregnancy and birth. Also, this is the stage when parents let me know what worked for them and what didn’t. This is time of open and candid communication as parents taught me how to better midwife them.

As I continued to facilitate women and families in birth, more was revealed. As I gave up my preconceived ideas about birth, and witnessed what actually happened, women were free and delighted to share a new paradigm with me. And while I realized that this account of birthing does not represent the mainstream in birth today, it is my experience and the experience of many of the women I have attended. As a constant student of birth, I offer thanks to them.

 

*While I use the pronoun ‘he’ to refer to a partner, in no way do I wish to marginalize same-sex couples. Nor do I wish to minimize single moms who have done more for liberating women than any group I can think of. My practice has been mostly with non-same-sex, married couples so I use what I am most familiar with.

 Resources for this article:

Women Giving Birth by Astrid Limberg and Beatrice Smulders

The Scientification of Love by Michel Odent

Birth Reborn by Michel Odent

A Plea for the Reform of Second Stage of Labor by Constance Benyon.

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Born Into Daddy’s Arms

Baby Austin

baby Austin just after birth

Austin was born into his father’s waiting hands in a quite, intimate atmosphere. Thank you Jaimee for this beautiful story.

Around 37 weeks I started having more frequent and sometimes regular contractions- tightening and loosening.  Since I hadn’t experienced this with Avalon, I thought perhaps labor was just around the corner.  I was certainly ready for it!  These contractions continued for another week and a half, so finally I decided to have my midwife check me for progress.  I was surprised and delighted to learn I was already 5cm dilated and 70% effaced!  That day I also lost the mucous plug with bloody show.  But still no labor, and in fact, the contractions basically stopped.  I tried to get things moving by walking around, bouncing on the yoga ball, and going up and down our stairs (among other things!), but it seemed my body and this baby were content to wait.

A couple of days later, just as I was about to go to bed, I started to feel crampy contractions.  Now, these were the contractions I remembered from Avalon’s labor.  They started around 9pm- short and about 10-15 minutes apart.  I assumed that they would go away as soon as I laid down, but they continued to come, getting stronger and closer together.  I was in denial, however, that this was it since they were still short and very manageable.  By midnight, they hadn’t stopped and were now 2-3 minutes apart and much stronger.  Brian made the decision to call our midwife, Karen.  At this point, the contractions lengthened and strengthened considerably.  I rocked on the yoga ball, trying to keep my breath even and intonations low, relaxing and opening up.  Karen arrived around 1am and helped Brian fill the birth tub. We had requested to do as much of the birth by ourselves as we could/wanted to, so Karen stepped into the other room and waited.  I got in the pool and immediately felt so much more relaxed.  I felt my bag of waters pop at 1:47am.  Things were moving along!  Unfortunately, the 19 degree weather was keeping our house cool despite cranking the heat and soon the pool cooled down, too.  I started to violently shiver between contractions, making them much harder to integrate.  We ran out of hot water and we couldn’t heat it fast enough on the stove, so I got out quickly between contractions and dressed.  This is when the contractions came on hard and intense.  I struggled to keep my voice low and breath flowing.  I started to moan mantras I had practiced like “open” and “relax” but I could tell transition was upon me when nothing was working to keep my body under control.  I was frantically changing positions trying to find one that would alleviate the tension, allowing me to relax and finish opening.  I recall grabbing at Brian and pulling on him, letting out one “I can’t!” and then focusing on “I can, I can, I can”  until finally I blurted out, “this has got to be the end!”  Karen was nearby and quietly assured me that it was.  

With this in mind, I battled through a few more contractions and then decided to try something new.  It occurred to me that a little push might help finish the dilation and ease some of the pressure.  As soon as I let go, my body bore down and with a deafening scream that came from deep inside, the baby flew all the way down to the perineum.  I felt the head bulging through my pants, which were still on, so I ripped them down and told Brian to get them off.  My body gave me a nice rest of about 2 minutes where I tore off my sweatshirt and then got up onto all fours on the bed.  With another roaring push, where I powered through the burning, his head popped out.  Seconds later, with just a small push, he came flying out into Brian’s waiting hands.  It was 2:36am.  He cried immediately and Brian placed him on the bed next to me.  He was bright pink.  I picked him up, untangled him from his really long cord and welcomed him.  Wrapping him up in a towel and a hat, I sat down on the bed.  Brian snapped some pictures. 

We sat on the bed, bonding for a while and then Brian alerted the rest of the house and his family.  Avalon was asleep in the room above ours- I cannot believe she didn’t wake up through all the moaning and screaming!  About half an hour later, I felt a cramp and pushed out the placenta onto the bed, which felt wonderful.  My whole body lightened and I took a deep breath, acutely feeling the transition from pregnant to no longer pregnant.  He latched on and nursed briefly within the first hour- something I didn’t get the chance to do with Avalon.  Later, Karen did the newborn exam: eight pounds two ounces and 20 7/8 inches long.  We were all surprised.  He was a full pound heavier than Avalon despite the fact that I only gained 22 pounds and was constantly “behind” in fundal height the entire pregnancy.  No wonder I had been having so many pains in the last few weeks!  Karen checked me for tearing- none!  It was so nice not to get stitches and be easily walking around the next day.

Birthing at home and basically on our own was an amazing experience.  It was empowering to allow my body to do whatever it needed to, whenever it felt the need.  Brian was right by my side with words of encouragement.  No one else was coaching us or interfering in the natural flow of my labor- it was just the three of us, working together.  It felt so perfect for our baby to come into this world in Brian’s hands- an experience that Brian says was amazing and forever etched into his mind.  Lying down in our own bed just hours later and waking up to Avalon’s footsteps the next morning completed the family birthing experience.  As our daughter joined us in bed to meet her new brother, I felt so grateful that we have been blessed with yet another miracle.  Welcome to the world Austin!

Jaimee lives in Towson, MD and is a stay at home mom of her two children, Avalon and Austin.  She is also an API leader and an avid supporter of breastfeeding,  babywearing, and homebirth.

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Avalon’s Arrival: A Story of Pleasure & Pain

 

baby avalon with her proud parents

Avalon with her proud parents, Jaimee and Brian

A first time mother uses a hypnosis program to cope through her daughters birth. Thank you Jaimee for sharing the following story.

I started the HypBirth hypnobirthing program at around 33 weeks of pregnancy.  This home study course was quite intense, requiring many hours dedicated to listening to CD’s as well as practicing labor techniques.  The program focused on relaxation, birth affirmations, and a tool called “finger drops” (a way of completely relaxing through contractions).  In addition, the program encouraged me to visualize my labor, even envisioning the day and timing.  I chose January 20th as my labor day and envisioned myself going into labor around 3:30 in the morning.  I saw myself eating breakfast, relaxing through early contractions, staying busy, eating lunch, and starting active labor around 2:00.  I visualized myself going to the birth center around 4:00 and pushing her out by 6:00.  I pictured delivering her head without perineal tearing and saw myself walking around hours after the birth.  I told a lot of people about my “plan” and most found it amusing; not really believing.   I have to admit that I wasn’t exactly convinced myself.  However, as the days rolled by and I continued the program, I truly began to see it.  Due to the daily pain I was experiencing in my ribs and tailbone, the incessant sinus congestion, and the overwhelming fatigue, I wanted her to be born earlier than her January 26th due date.   Soon, I felt extremely confident and ready for labor. 

On Thursday January 11th, our pregnancy group (centering) midwife, Tanya, did an internal exam and found that my cervix was “mushy” indicating that it was ripe and ready to dilate.  She recommended evening primrose oil and black cohosh to help things along.  I started taking both and occasionally experienced a mild cramping sensation in my lower abdominal region- like menstrual cramps.  Tanya was a little concerned that Avalon was a small baby- estimating her weight at only 5 pounds.  She would need to reach 5 pounds 8 ounces for me to have her at the Birth Center instead of the hospital.  Four days later, another midwife, Jill, checked me and found that I was 2cm dilated.  She estimated Avalon’s weight at 6 pounds, but conceded that Tanya was more skilled at weight estimation.  Jill also did a non-stress test to make sure that the baby was moving and responding well.  Avalon was just fine and through this test, which measured Avalon’s heart rate along with my contractions, I realized that each mild cramping feeling I had been experiencing was in fact a contraction.   While I was excited about my progress, I was still quite apprehensive about her weight and worried that I might not get the Birth Center birth that I had been envisioning.  However, I couldn’t imagine her birth any other way and I took this to mean that everything would work out in the end.

On Wednesday January 17th, I woke up in the morning and noticed a small amount of blood.  Excited that this could be bloody show, I called my sister and doula, Debbie, to make plans for her trip down to Tucson from Seattle.  Debbie felt strongly that despite the labor signs, I probably still had several days to go because I was a first time mom.  She scheduled her flight for Friday morning.  That night I attended a La Leche League meeting with a friend from centering, Jessica.  While there, I began to experience contractions every 20 minutes, lasting 30-40 seconds.  Jessica was having contractions as well, and we decided to go home early.  By the time I got home, the contractions had stopped and I went to bed.  At 3:15 in the morning I awoke to more contractions, this time 15 minutes apart and approximately 30 seconds long.  I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was it, just as I had envisioned it, only 2 days early.  I kept myself relaxed and tried to sleep, but the contractions continued without stop.  Eventually I got up and made myself a large breakfast.  I told Brian to go to school because he had to teach that day.  Later, I noticed a mucus-like discharge streaked with blood, which I thought perhaps was my mucus plug.  Meanwhile, the contractions started coming at least every 10 minutes and lasted 40-50 seconds.  Occasionally they were as close as 4 minutes apart.  I called Debbie again to fill her in and she decided to get on an earlier flight to Phoenix and drive down to Tucson.  She would arrive around 2am on Friday and we both hoped that she would make it in time for the birth.  However, I knew inside that what I had envisioned was coming true and that I would be having a baby sometime that evening.

I stayed busy throughout the day doing laundry, fixing up the guest room, cleaning, and packing our birth bags.  I continued to eat and drink, keeping myself energized and hydrated.  Each time a contraction came on I simply relaxed, breathed, and visualized myself opening up.  I encouraged each contraction and looked forward to the next one, knowing that it would bring my baby closer.  They were still only in my lower abdomen, but slowly they began to get sharper.  I started really timing the spacing and duration to track my progress.  Brian and I kept in contact throughout the day and though I didn’t ask him to skip his class, he decided to come home around 2:00pm.  While I waited for him, I “turned on” my hypnosis at 1:30pm by deepening and practicing a few finger drops.  I felt completely relaxed and in control, though I never experienced the numb sensation that finger drops are supposed to produce.

When Brian came home, he made me a snack of peanut butter and jelly on an English muffin.  I hung out on the couch, propped up on pillows and relaxed my way through another hour of strengthening contractions.  Brian made some calls and got everything ready to go to the birth center.  At 3:00pm my contractions were consistently two to two and a half minutes apart, but still only 50 seconds in length.  We decided to call the midwife to see how we should proceed.  Tara, the on-call midwife, asked me some questions, listened to my voice, and told me that we should wait another hour or so until the contractions were a full minute before coming in.  I was glad because I felt in control and didn’t want to mess with what was working.  We turned on “Friends” and I worked through another two and a half hours of contractions.  Several of them were so intense that they brought tears to my eyes, but I still felt strong- relaxed and controlled.  Brian made a pasta box with edamame for dinner, but I could only eat a few bites.  We called Tara again at 5:30pm and she could tell by my short answers that the contractions had intensified to the point that we should go to the birth center.  I was excited because this meant that things were progressing.  I remember having absolutely no fear of what was to come- it simply felt like I was moving on to the next step.

Brian loaded up the car and we drove to the Birth and Women’s Health Center, located about 8 miles from our house.  On the way there, I kept anxiously thinking that my cervix was only slightly dilated and they would send us home, but I also remembered that during my hypnosis training that I had envisioned arriving at the center 8cm dilated.  I continued to remain relaxed through my contractions, but they slowed down and by the time we arrived at 6:20 I hadn’t had one in a while.  Bree, the nurse on call, helped me into my room.  We were the only ones there, so I got the room with the large tub- just as I had visualized.  I settled onto the bed and soaked in the ambiance.  The light was dim and the room felt comforting and familiar.  Brian turned on Loreena McKennitt, though I barely remember hearing it.  After checking my blood pressure and listening to the baby’s heart rate, Tara did an internal exam and found that I was 8cm dilated!  My anxiety had been for nothing as once again my “plan” was unfolding just as I had foreseen.  I was very happy to hear this news, but just minutes later Tara informed me that the baby’s heart rate was a little too high and Avalon may be in distress.  She agreed to keep checking for another 15 minutes to see if the rate would drop naturally, but told me if it did not, I had two choices: go to Tucson Medical Center for fetal monitoring or have my water broken at the birth center.  The contractions had returned by this point and while intense, were still manageable.  Unfortunately, the baby’s heart rate did not drop and since I wanted to avoid the hospital, I chose to have my water broken.  Tara broke my water at 7:30 with an amnio hook.  The only thing I felt was a gush of warm fluid down my legs.  No meconium was present and the baby’s heart rate immediately dropped into the appropriate range.  While this news was relieving, the contractions began to come on hard and fast.  I was no longer comfortable on the bed and felt less in control.  They asked if I would like to get into the tub and I thought this was a good idea.

As soon as I stepped into the tub, I felt much more relaxed.  They encouraged me to lay on my left side so that the baby would turn into the proper position for delivery. I focused on this for a while, but soon the contractions were extremely intense, causing me to writhe about in the tub.  They came very close together and several of them had multiple peaks.  Just as I thought one was ending, it would continue and linger.  By this time I was sitting up in the tub, grasping the edge for support.  I tried to keep my breathing slow and controlled, but the pain was unavoidable and would take my breath away.  Throughout this time, Bree and Tara periodically monitored the baby’s heart rate using a waterproof Doppler.  They would have me hold it against my belly while still in the tub.  Her heart rate was always fine.  Tara asked me if I had to pee and I noticed that I did, but I didn’t want to get out of the tub.   She suggested that I simply pee in the tub if I didn’t mind, so I did.  I also realized that I was hungry, so Tara heated up the pasta and Brian got me an orange.  I ate quickly between contractions, trying to swallow before the next one.  I had one moment of nausea, but it passed and I wanted to eat more.  Time dragged on and I began to wonder when this stage would end.  I asked Tara how I would know when I had dilated fully.  She said that I would tell her and that I wasn’t there yet because I was still too alert between contractions.  I remember thinking to myself that I wasn’t “too alert” but simply in control.  However, just a few very intense contractions later I was having trouble thinking and answering questions.  Tara asked me if I would like a popsicle and if I played the piano (because of my long fingers, which were still clutching the side of the tub) and my answer to both of these was “I don’t know.”  She laughed and told me that in those few minutes she could tell that I had progressed.  I wanted to be done and move on to pushing, so I thought perhaps I should try something different.  Tara suggested that I get out of the tub and I agreed. 

I moved onto the bed and immediately started to writhe in extreme pain.  The water had prevented me from feeling my bones.  Each contraction felt like it was pushing my hip bones out of my body.  Tara told me that was exactly what was happening.  I kept telling Brian to dig into my hips and often I just took his hand and placed it where I needed him to push.  This pain was intolerable and I asked for some help.  Tara suggested that I labor on the toilet to relieve the pressure on my bones.  So they set me up facing the back of the toilet, resting my head on a pillow.  Brian rubbed my back and I could no longer feel the pain in my bones.  However, the contractions continued to rage through my body, building even more in intensity.  As I worked through each contraction, I lost control of my body.  I kept hitting my head on things- the hand bar, the cabinet door, the wall.  Brian tried to cushion my head with towels, but I was lost in my own world.  During the contractions I felt like I couldn’t go on- I was done.  I was moaning continuously and making goat like noises.  Between contractions I tried to remind myself that I was strong.  I kept repeating out loud, “I can do it, I can do it.”  It felt like this went on forever and I lost my focus on making it to the next stage.  Finally I said to Brian that I needed to know how far along I was.  I had suddenly realized that I could make a change and ask for help.  So I made it back onto the bed. Tara checked me and found that I was nearly at 10cm; only a lip of cervix remained.  She told me that I could go to TMC and get an epidural or I could push a little and she would try to push the lip out of the way.  I was confused why I would get an epidural- surprisingly throughout the severe pain getting pain relief had never entered my head.  I told her that I would try to push.  I really had no idea what I was doing, so I just flexed my abs and pushed like I was having a bowel movement.  A gush of urine came out and it felt very warm and oddly comforting.  Tara moved the last bit of cervix out of the way during the push.  Before I could wrap my mind around the idea that I was actually starting to push my baby out, I had officially entered the second phase of labor.

Now things really got going.  Bree and Tara were firmly telling me to push, push, push, but all I could focus on was an extreme tearing pain in my abs.  I instinctively pushed down on my abdomen with my hands to relieve the pain, but Tara told me not to- that I needed to hold my legs back to widen my pelvis.  I realized that I had no urge to push whatsoever and that every effort to do so felt very unnatural.  They suggested the all fours position, but the searing pain in my abs remained.  Tara said that this pain was not normal and wasn’t sure what was causing it.  It was later hypothesized that the pain was due to small tears in my abdominal muscles.  After several failed attempts to push in various positions, I got back into the tub.  The water was familiar and I knew that this was where I would push my baby out.  Strangely, I hadn’t envisioned how the baby would come out, but it felt right that she would have a water birth.  Brian quickly donned scrubs and sat on the edge of the tub to hold me up.  I could feel the contractions coming, but they were weak and far apart.  I didn’t feel like they were helping me push at all.  As each contraction started I forced myself to sit up, hold my legs, and try to push, but it felt hopeless.  I could barely control my arms, much less my legs and the pain in my abs wasn’t allowing me to push with any effectiveness.  I remember thinking I couldn’t do this.  Tara kept telling me to open my eyes and look at her, but I was desperately trying to focus myself inside and I needed to keep my eyes closed to do this.  Brian and Bree helped me to hold my legs so that I could concentrate on pushing.  Tara told me to hold my breath, tuck my chin, and push for 10 seconds.  I really tried, but it was completely impossible.  The pain was too intense to hold my breath and pushing for an extended amount of time only intensified the pain.  She told me to push from below, not in my face, which must have been contorted in pain, but everything felt so unnatural and intolerable.  Finally I let out a deafening scream, scaring Brian.  In fact, Brian later told me that he was deeply concerned about my well-being as he had never experienced a sound that was so primal.   Tara and Bree encouraged the screaming, so I continued to let it out while I pushed.  The screaming came from somewhere deep inside me- it wasn’t from fear or from pain, it was simply a way to control my breathing, loosen my face, and take my mind off of the pain.  I screamed and pushed for an hour or so, getting in three pushes with each contraction.  Between contractions I literally fell asleep and it was shear willpower that would force me to push again with the next one.  Brian had to use all his strength to hold me up during these breaks.  I was becoming discouraged- feeling like I was not making any progress, so I asked Tara if she could reach up there and pull her out.  She said no and told me to just push the baby out.  I asked why it was taking so long and Bree explained that the baby had to push each muscle out of the way as she descended and that there are a lot of muscles.  I felt defeated, but eventually Tara told me to reach down and touch the head because she was right there.  I was so tired that I didn’t want to exert the energy to reach down, but I did and I could feel the soft hair on her head.  This should have been inspiring, but it wasn’t.  At this point, every time I stopped pushing, I experienced a burning sensation, which quickly went away as she slipped back inside me.  With each set of pushes she came out and went back in; out and in, out and in.  I was not concerned much by the burning because of the intensity of everything else that I was experiencing.  However, I was becoming so frustrated that she kept slipping back inside that I blurted out, “No, don’t go back in!”  Bree told me that the baby was working with me as a team to stretch out the skin so I wouldn’t tear.  I took this in, but it didn’t really help my frustration.  I wasn’t even thinking about tearing, I just wanted her out and I was starting to believe that this was never going to happen.  Brian kept telling me that even though she was slipping back in, the next push pushed her back to where she had been and the following pushes made more and more progress.  I wanted to believe him, but that wasn’t how it felt.  To me, it seemed like she was coming all the way out and then going all the way back in.  I started to mutter to myself, “Okay, okay, okay, just push the baby out, push the baby out.”  Somewhere during this time I suddenly felt the urge to push at the end of a contraction.  The sensation was undeniable and I pushed reflexively, which felt really good.  Unfortunately, this was the only time I felt that urge, so it was back to forcing myself to push.  After several more contractions where I pushed her out and she slipped back in, she finally stayed out.  The stinging sensation remained during the break and I convinced myself that next time I would get her out of me; that this was it.  When the next contraction came, I pushed with all my strength.  I knew that I would have to push more than my normal three times to get her out, so I dug really deep and I pushed long and hard.  The stinging intensified, everyone was encouraging me, suddenly the pressure released, and I knew that she was out.  Before I could process this, Tara pulled her out of the water and placed her on my chest.  My eyes flew open and I realized they had been closed for more than an hour; it was now 11:17pm.  I looked down and couldn’t believe what I saw.  There she was all bluish purple and clean from her journey through the water, looking around with squinty eyes.  I could barely hold her above the water as I struggled to wrap my mind around the fact that she was finally here and there was an actual person lying on my chest.  The pain had instantaneously disappeared and it was replaced by shock and amazement.  Brian was sobbing behind me saying, “She’s here!” and all I could do was stare at her.  Tara cleared out her nose and mouth; she let out one tiny cry and then sat silently on my chest.  It felt very strange to be holding her while her cord was still attached inside of me- I could feel it tugging as I moved her around.  They clamped her cord and offered the scissors to Brian.  He felt he couldn’t cut the cord through tear-filled eyes, so I had the privilege.  It took two cuts to get all the way through and felt spongy, just like all the books say.  In this brief moment, she was separated from me.  Bree held on to the end of the cord still attached to the placenta and told me to push as soon as I felt a cramp.  I never felt a cramp and I desperately wanted to be done, so I pushed three times while Bree pulled and the placenta popped out and floated away in the water.  All I felt was a mild stinging- nothing compared to the earlier pain.  Finally the birth part was over and an immense sense of relief spread through me.  It was surreal and this sensation was compounded by the fatigue, dim lights, and swirling emotions.  Bree took Avalon, wrapped in her warm blankets and handed her to Brian who was still overcome with emotion.

I stood up shakily and they sprayed me off.  With the help of many supporting hands, I carefully stepped out of the tub and was immediately wrapped in warm towels.  My legs felt like jello and walking was extremely difficult.  I was bleeding everywhere and I could tell that my tailbone was out of place.  I made it to the bed and laid down.  They covered me in warm blankets fresh from the dryer and it was then that I realized just how cold I was.  They handed Avalon to me and I was again awash in indescribable emotions, but I felt very relaxed and pleasantly tired.              

Avalon had some mucus in her throat that she needed to cough up before I could attempt to breastfeed, but she soon fell asleep and so did we.  Sleeping felt deliciously pure and when we awoke Brian realized that Avalon had peed all over him!  Bree predicted her weight around 6 pounds and then laid her on the scale.  To everyone’s surprise, she was 7 pounds one ounce- so much for all the concern!  Even though she measured in at 20 inches, she still looked tiny and her hat kept falling off her small head.                            

Next I had to be stitched up.  It felt terrible to remove myself from my warm, comfortable environment and spread my legs open again.  Tara said I had a few tears in the labia minora and inside the vagina near the hymenal ring; these were considered first degree tears.  I had managed not to tear my perineum at all!  While some of the stitches were done with the aid of lidocane, several of them were too close to nerves, which could be permanently deadened from the medication.  These stitches were excruciating and I had to work to hold myself together emotionally.  How terrible to go from extreme pain, to extreme pleasure, back to pain again!  My legs were shaking uncontrollably from the fatigue and I was traumatically reminded of getting stitches in my finger years earlier.  Finally Tara was done and the three of us wrapped back up and drifted off to sleep again.

My sister arrived around 3am.  She and I were both sad that she had missed the birth, but it felt like everything had happened just as it was supposed to.  I realized at this point that I had to pee.  Bree helped me into the bathroom and equipped me with an irri-bottle to spray myself with to reduce the stinging.  She also helped me into stretchy mesh underwear lined with thick pads to absorb the bleeding.  After I survived this, Avalon had to endure her vitamin K shot and eye antibiotics.  Bree noticed that her temperature was low, so we wrapped her in more warm blankets.  I attempted to breastfeed her, but she was extremely sleepy and though she tried, she couldn’t latch on.  We had to remain at the birth center for four hours after the birth, but because her temperature was still low, we stayed a little longer, leaving around 4am.  We desperately wanted to go home and sleep in our own bed and I wanted to take a shower.  By this time I was dressed and moving around fairly easily, just as I had envisioned.  I noticed that many of the annoyances of pregnancy had immediately disappeared- namely my rib pain, nausea, and plugged sinuses.  The only pain that truly bothered me was my tailbone.  I was told later that the scratches on the top of Avalon’s head were probably caused by my errant tailbone and that it may also have blocked her head from hitting the muscles responsible for stimulating the urge to push.

We made it home in a constant state of disbelief that she was finally here.  Brian drove about 15 miles an hour and I sat in the back staring at her and discussing with Brian the surreal nature of what we were doing.  Avalon slept soundly until mid morning, allowing us all to get some much needed rest.  We awoke to the coos of our new daughter and the realization that now we are three.

Jaimee lives in Towson, MD and is a stay at home mom of her two children, Avalon and Austin.  She is also an API leader and an avid supporter of breastfeeding,  babywearing, and homebirth.

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The Birth of Paloma Louette

paloma at birth

paloma, just after birth

I spent the second half of my pregnancy exploring the idea that pain did not have to be part of a woman’s birth experience. And as I learned more about it, I decided to take the Hypnobabies home study course. I spent time everyday for the last two-and-a-half months of my pregnancy meditating, and listening to both the hypnosis and affirmations CD’s. As my due date drew closer, I spent more and more time preparing for her arrival mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Before I knew it, Paloma’s due date came and passed. I was 41 weeks and 1 day. My patience was dwindling. It was my third day of having contractions, but they were so far apart (every 20 min) and very mild. I was able to sleep through most of them during the night and carried on as though everything was normal during the day.

As I grew more impatient, I called my midwife and asked her if I could start taking Cohosh to try and get things going. She told me she was down the street and would swing by to check my cervix and see where we were. She arrived, checked my cervix, and told me she was going to stay. She said I already was in labor. I laughed in disbelief, told her I felt great and that I didn’t think I was in labor. Little did I know, I would be holding my little Paloma in less than 5 hours.

My mother came over (she lives next door) along with my Aunt. We called the birth team and celebrated, getting last minute things together. Jo, my 3-year-old daughter, and I sang lullabies to the baby. I would pause to breathe through my contractions comfortably. My birth team arrived, and my home was filled with love and feminine wisdom. I was surrounded by the women of my family, those that I grew up with and those that raised me.

As things picked up, I drew inward during my contractions, still comfortable, just more focused. I was ready to get into the birth tub. Jo got into the tub with me and poured water over my back between contractions, which grew more powerful, but still comfortable.

Soon I was in transition and I hit that wall so many women hit. I was done. I was prepared to be pregnant forever, I just wanted to stop. My body was tired. But the midwives and doula knew I was almost there. They got me out of the tub and into my bed. All snuggled up, my contractions stopped for a few minutes and I took a much needed nap.

I woke up refreshed, to the most powerful contractions. I labored on my hands and knees. At one moment, I felt an energy rush from my body that was powerful and pure. I roared like a lion. And at that moment, I felt the soul Paloma and I shared since her conception split into two, and I knew she was ready to be born. There was still a lip left on one side of my cervix, which the midwife pushed out of the way. This was the only uncomfortable part of my birth. But still not painful. Her birth was free of both pain and fear. And as soon as Paloma’s head was past the lip, the birth actually felt wonderful from that moment on. Pushing was so satisfying, and I couldn’t feel the contractions anymore. I only knew I was having one because my body would start pushing by itself. In fact, everything I did was involuntary at that point. I had surrendered to the power of birth and it took over. When she was crowning, my midwives and doula coached me through pushing her head out between contractions, to protect my perineum. I let her shoulders turn, and the rest of her body slipped out of me and the midwife put her on my chest. There she stayed until the placenta was also delivered. My father came in and cut her cord (he also cut Jo’s) and then she nursed.

The family that was not present for the birth came pouring in to meet Paloma and the celebration continued through the night. Paloma’s birth was empowering, magical, peaceful. She came into this world at home, in our family bed, surrounded by the people that love her. I am eternally grateful such a profound, primal experience.

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